There is a big difference in being child-LIKE and being child-ISH. Last week, I focused on the benefits of being more childlike in adult life. This week, as promised, I focus on how to be less child-ISH and all grown up.
So what does it take to be all grown up? Well, being a devout follower of the weather forecast, eating porridge, and favouring easy listening over loud music are good indicators but hardly qualify. Here are a few essential attributes that demonstrate you have successfully shedded your childish ways and metamorphosed into a mature grown up.
Warning. Some indicators may cause you to huff, argue with yourself/partner and suffer a fully blown over dose of denial or amnesia…a great big sign that your childish ways are still clinging on there.
How to be all grown up
Accept you, imperfections and all. Stop blaming everyone else for your crappy life. Accept it. Embrace it. Own it. Live it. Love it. Make it work! If you don’t like it or don’t like how you are being treated, do something about it. Accept others. Be accountable and responsible for your attitude, actions and behaviour. They all have repercussions.
Learn how to say “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me,” and “I forgive you.” Show you mean it.
Learn how to do things for yourself without looking for validation and affirmation. If you are responsible/care for others, you may not get a lot of thanks, but it’s grown up.
Give and receive in harmony and offer/accept with love.
Respect yourself and others. You are all grown up if you don’t need a refresher course in this Golden Rule.
Open your mind and see things from another person’s point of view. Think and act beyond your own selfish needs, desires and prejudices.
Weigh up a situation. Walk away. Work it out. Wait, before reacting irrationally or making a rash, irreversible decision.
Never underestimate the power of buried anger, hate, resentment or unresolved grief. Such feelings will not only prevent you from moving on in your life, they will also make you ill. Find a way to speak your truth, even if it hurts.
U cannot always get your way, have the last word and, regardless what you think, you are not always right. Accept another’s opinion, be it right or wrong, without throwing a hissy fit, pouting (which is only cute on 3yr olds) and stomping your feet.
Poor you…stop playing the victim role. Life is not about what you deserve or don’t deserve. Bad things happen to people in Libya, Afghanistan, Somerset, to you, and me, and good things happen too. Be grateful for all that you have, even when life deals you a difficult hand. Take nothing for granted and know nothing is personal. It just is.
There you go, hope I have cleared up any confusion you may have had differentiating between childlike and childish behaviour. One last thing…being all grown up has nothing to do with age. During a visit to my folks recently, Mum asked my Dad why he wasn’t wearing his glasses. He answered “Because you didn’t give them to me.” He’s adorable, my Dad. Still, at the ripe maturing age of 89, you’d think he would have learnt how to put on his own glasses by now.
Until next time, be more childlike, be less childish and strive to be all grown up in adult life.
© Aileen McGee