A LIFE OF OUR OWN

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Sometimes things just evolve don’t they?  A thought pops into your head, an unlikely encounter, an innocent email arrives in your inbox that suddenly triggers a whole new event in your life. That is how, despite limited time constraints and caring for Mowghi, this month I find myself about to launch my second book, A LIFE OF OUR OWN.

After A World of Our Own was published many readers sent me emails and letters full of good wishes but they also shared how they struggled with life after a life changing event. I wanted to get on with my first book of fiction but the letters kept arriving and the emails kept happening. Readers wanted to know did I continue to get up in the morning and stay positive. Did I still feel we were in a world of our own? The short answer is No. The long answer is A Life of Our Own.

A LIFE OF OUR OWN is a non-fiction self-help book that attempts to empower the reader to live an authentic life, regardless of circumstance. The wisdom that is embedded in each page comes from Mowgli which creates the difference between my first book and my second book. My first book, A World of Our Own focuses on how I taught Cian in the shadows of systems that failed him. A Life of Our Own reflects on what Cian taught me in the shadow of my own grief. The book is ultimately an exploration of what holds us back from living a life of our own and offers the reader stepping stones back to themselves when life takes them off on a different direction and doesn’t go according to plan.

It is so easy to find yourself floating far away from the life you want. Circumstances can change in an instance that can shift the direction of our lives and before we know it we are dreaming about the life we want to live rather than living it. When my son was diagnosed with Autism life as we knew it ended. Early intervention began to help Mowgli become the best he could be. There is no doubt in my mind, Mowgli’s condition would be a whole lot worse had there been no intervention. He learnt so much on how to manage life with dignity but in his quiet, unassuming way he also taught me how to manage life too, regardless of circumstance.

I have written A Life of Our Own for Cian because his wisdom has the potential to help others and without him in my life I would not have the same depth of understanding that life is truly a blessing and should never be taken for granted. I hope A Life of Our Own will empower the reader to face whatever needs to be faced in their lives with dignity and the strength to embrace challenges while living out an authentic and fulfilling life.

A LIFE OF OUR OWN is published by The Liffey Press and is out now in all good book shops or you can get your copy online at http://www.amazon.com or http://www.theliffeypress.com

 

 

WRITERS NEED EXERCISE TOO!

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Writing is therapy to me but it doesn’t exactly keep me physically fit. Mowghi doesn’t do a bad job—all that running after him has kept me reasonable fit for a long time—but family caring is exhausting. Caring of any kind can hardly be called a workout that sustains and creates energy so I decided to sign up for a health programme hosted by Maria McMenamin at The Natural Health Centre, Buncrana that hopefully will kick-start my exercise routine again.

At registration, Maria mentioned the word ‘intense’ more times than I care to remember so I know this is going to be no walk in the park. That’s what I have done for a long time now, walking in the park, and I shall continue to do so because we have gorgeous parks and walkways in Inishowen and Donegal, but I think the walk in the park is more to shower my head and ‘shower my head’ it does! After all, this is Ireland! But back to this exercise regimen thingy! Gentle yoga in the morning and meandering in nature might soak me to the skin but it doesn’t make me sweat or cause my heart to beat faster. What I need is a good workout and someone to take me into hand from the inside out which is what the Beach Body Burn programme sets out to do. It isn’t only about physical exercise. It is about realising a clean, ultra healthy lifestyle through healthy diet and exercise while having fun to boot!

We all know that regular exercise and maintaining an active lifestyle should be one of our top priorities in life. Only by taking care of ourselves will we be able to show up and be all we can be in our families, at our job and in the community. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Life can get in the way of working out. For some people, like me, the hardest part of exercising isn’t the vigorous physical activity, but finding a way to schedule it in and stay motivated enough to work out regularly. One of the reasons I have signed up for Beach Body Burn is because it is flexible and offers morning classes. Evenings can be busy round here. Usually I turn into a taxi service, so it is difficult to commit to an evening programme. Flexible mornings mean I will stick to the plan but it doesn’t necessarily mean I will be any more motivated so I have picked this programme as it has a time frame and something to work towards. Beach Body Burn (I have consciously decided to ignore the word burn) is a 5 week plan. 5 weeks. 5 workouts per week. 5 meal a day with 24/7 support. What’s not to like?

Well, I spotted some weights and kettle bells at registration, and that word ‘intense’ keeps coming to mind! Furthermore, if you love your chips, crisps and cookies, like me, there are loads of things not to like but at registration Maria told us we have to draw a line under our negative thinking and commit to investing in our health. A new fit body will help keep my brain active and hopefully by the end of the five weeks I will be feeling the benefits so much so that I will keep going…that is if it doesn’t kill me first! Wish me luck!

 

 

The International Literature Festival Dublin

 I’m writing this post on my phone in The Lunchbox, Buncrana because my internet is down. Not a great start to a Monday when I’m buzzing to follow up on a few contacts that I made on Saturday at the ‘Date with an Agent’ event during The International Literature Festival Dublin.                               

Still, I want to mark the event by expressing my appreciation to Vanessa O’Loughlin of http://www.writing.ie for the opportunity to submit and ‘win’ a date with an agent. Vanessa also took time out to talk to me after an extremely busy day when she really should have been half way home for a well earned rest, so thank you Vanessa for your precious time.                               

About a month ago, it was exciting to receive an email from Vanessa with the good news that my writing was selected and I had managed to bag ‘a date with an agent.’ It was doubly exciting to learn that my dear writing friend, Christina Campbell had recieved the same email. Much to my delight, Christina’s work had been selected too! And so we made plans to travel to Dublin and enjoy the event.

Vanessa promised that the event would be a “unique opportunity for writers to sit down with an agent to discuss their book, getting top-level advice on anything that needs work, on the market and their own career.”         

The date with the agent did exactly what it said on the tin, so thanks to Sallyanne Sweeny of Malcahy Associates, and Vanessa for creating such an opportunity. My friend, Christina, was delighted to discuss her work with Clare Wallace from The Darly Anderson Agency. In addition to ‘the date with an agent’ there were an number of talks and discussions throughout the day on writing and getting published. 

We were advised on what agents were looking for, good writing, a compelling story and a unique voice. No surprises there. Vanessa stressed the importance of writers taking the time to develop their own voice along with a great story. She told potential authors: “Just keep writing. It can take a lot longer than you think it might to get published, and it might be via a route that you didn’t at first expect, but you need to serve your apprenticeship and learn the craft. The more you write, the better you get.”                 

So I need to go write and hopefully by this evening my internet will be up and running again that will allow me to follow up on my newly established contacts. Well done to Vanessa and congratulations on another successful ‘Date With An Agent’ event. And thanks to the Lunchbox and Teresa who served me a lovely lunch while I typed with one finger, and Mary for her friendly welcome as always. 

The 2015 International Literature Festival Dublin offers a cracking line-up of writers, editors and agents, running from Saturday 16 – Sunday 24 May.

What Autism Taught Me

 

I’m trying to write. A gloomy Donegal sky is sagging low, closing in around the hills.  It’s blowing a gale outside. Hail stones, like small round pills, are drumming against the window above me. Behind me, my ‘autsome’ boy is pacing. Up and down.  School’s out. Kids are in. No day for the trampoline. I know he wants an outside space where he can run and jump, and do what my ‘autsome’ boy needs to do, but the shower of sleet has turned everything white and wet.  There will be no going out for a while. The pacing continues. I read the same line over and over, trying to make sense of what I have written. I am struggling against the noise. Mowghi is making his signature humming sound as he continues to pace. His incessant need for movement hasn’t let up all these years. His need for noise hasn’t either. His favourite music channel on the television is belting out all the latest hits. It’s all noise to me. The computer is playing Thomas the Tank music. I know every quaver, every beat, every tune that’s comes with being subjected to Thomas the Tank videos for almost fifteen years. That’s how long ago autism sneaked in and took up residence in our home, a noisy, pacing, never a dull moment autism that demanded me to be on red alert at all times, even when I’m writing, There is no retrieve, no downtime, no out when autism is about.  It’s the way it is, and another Autism Awareness Month is upon us.  As Mowghi paces, and the wind howls, and the hailstones rattle I commit to paper a list of things that autism taught me of which there are many, too many to mention. In no particular order, here is a random thought list of lessons I’ve learnt from my ‘autsome’ boy.

  • Time is irrelevant.
  • Moments make up life.
  • Treasure the moments.
  • Not all moments are magical.
  • Most moments are little miracles.
  • A lesson can be learnt in any given moment.
  • The lesson is usually a lesson in self-love.
  • Self-love comes from within and reaches out to others.
  • Self-love is unconditional love.
  • Unconditional love has no strings attached.
  • When Mowghi rests his head on my shoulder the world stops.
  • Never underestimate the power of love of any kind.
  • Autism taught me who matters and what matters.
  • Never underestimate the joy of simple things.
  • Joy can find its way through pain.
  • Given time, the pain of loss and grief eases.
  • Patience is truly a virtue.
  • Autism has honed that virtue for me very well.
  • Humour can be found in the darkest of moments.
  • Look for humour always. It’s a life-saving device.
  • So is toilet paper, and I have to look for it too!
  • Hiding toilet paper prevents blocked toilets.
  • Hiding everything prevents mess and is sanity saving.
  • Whoever invented the key should be canonized.
  • Strangers are mostly real life angels.
  • Talking is overrated.
  • Silence is the sweetest noise.
  • An non-verbal person does not constitute an empty mind.
  • A warm bubbly bath can make anything better.
  • Be soooo grateful for any night of uninterrupted sleep.
  • Material things mean little to the soul.
  • The soul celebrates difference.
  • Our human understanding is limited by logic.
  • There is nothing logical about Autism.
  • Autism remains a mystery.
  • Autism grows up.
  • Autism doesn’t always behave grown up.
  • Grown up autism needs help, support and services.
  • People who work with the vulnerable in society are unsung heroes.
  • Acceptance is the first step on any journey.
  • The journey must be experienced.
  • It’s called life, with or without autism.
  • A good giggle is essential to survival.
  • Strive to enjoy the journey.

My boy is trotting steadily towards his seventeenth birthday. Only yesterday I held him, as in the photograph above, at Crummies Bay, Dunree in Inishowen, Donegal, a small laughing mischievous rascal in my arms who knew his own mind and tormented me with his antics. He still does. I still am at a loss to fully understand him, his strange ways, his sixth sense, his breaking down, his frustrations. his wonder, his need for space, inside and outside, his connection with nature, his withdrawal to the sanctuary of his room. As he paces up and down behind me, I clock up a few more sentences, and wonder is he at a loss to understand me too?

 

Drawing Words, Writing Circles.

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I’ve been writing all day…in my head. I have been travelling too. I landed in Bologna with my head full of words. That’s okay. They will tumble out sooner or later and spill on to a white A4 sheet of paper to join the words already there. One sentence will become two, then three until I scribble and smudge them out again. Most words end up in the bin but some are rescued, a word or phase that sounds right and before I know it the words take over and write themselves. That’s the way with words.

Tomorrow I’ll jot down a few but tomorrow evening I will draw a circle because that’s what I do when I’m not writing words. It’s no ordinary circle. It’s a Mandala. Sometimes I fill my circle up with words. Sometimes it fills me up with images, symbols that speak to me.

I don’t feel I draw the Mandala. I feel it draws me. The one above was simply created with a stick on Lisfannon beach Inis Eoghain in all of a few minutes. It claimed my focus, my thought and quietened my mind. It’s such a simple way to meditate.

It’s not everyday I’m in Bologna drawing circles so I’m looking forward and will post back soon. In the meantime I’m grateful for simple things…arriving safe, welcoming smiles, a hot shower, a cozy bed and rain whisper in Bologna tonight.

First Anniversary of consciously taking care of myself

A few posts back I posted about a decision I made this time last year to consciously take better care of myself. Your can read about it here. I also shared in that post I wasn’t sure how I was going to celebrate it. I only knew I would be celebrating! As it turns out, tomorrow I will be putting the finishing touches to a few of my writing projects and I will definitely have them wrapped up and packed off to fend for themselves very shortly in the big, bad, scary fast paced, cut-throat, exciting critical and ‘keepmewaitingwithbaitedbreath’ agent and publishing world.

Thing is, I can’t believe it! One of the things I decided to put at the top of my list of ‘Consciously taking care of Moi’ was my passion i.e. writing. I wanted to get back to and finish a number of writing projects that I had started.  Now, here I am, one year later, with a blog, my newspaper column, one children’s book complete, two others at the editing stages and first draft of my second non-fiction book. It’s all a work in progress but it is also true, what ever you put your mind to will manifest and I can’t imagine celebrating any better way than kissing my ‘babies’ good luck and waving them off…

Thanks to you for hanging in here…I know you are all being neglected but once I get a handle on each project I will be better paced and hopefully my blogging habit (reading and writing) will resume on a more regularly basis again and hopefully enlighten your day. Maybe this time next year I’ll have heard some good news from my babies…Wish me luck!

Writing projects update

You haven’t heard from me in nearly two weeks and now two posts in one day (and I seriously need to catch up with your blogs, writing etc.) but I just wanted to write note to self and everyone else who loves to complete a project, especially a writing project, I completed my first children’s manuscript today. Yeah…now being piloted with the local school children (some of who I met on world book day…they wanted to read the finished product) to get a little feedback and then I’m going to send my baby out! That will take a bit of time because I have to do my research on who and where to send it to. My publishers who published my first book A World Of Our Own do not publish children’s books so it takes time to read up and send out query letters etc.

In the meantime I will be working on my second children’s book. I have completed the first draft…now for the rewrites. My second non-fiction novel is drafted as well but it is a work in progress. I have a lot of rewriting to do but I’ll get there. Back in January I told you it was going to be a little more sporadic round here so now you know I am doing what I said I would do…I am concentrating on the writing projects I have started but not have finished. The writing is in the finishing. Wish me luck!